In our series on safeguarding your marriage through a move I shared about how important it is to have good communication and quality time with your spouse. Support is the another piece that Jason and I found necessary to make it through difficult times. Support for us came in a variety of ways. Whether it came from family, friends, podcasts, books, or professional counseling. We realized how important it was to be encouraged by individuals and to have resources at our fingertips that can help support us during difficult times – and celebrate the good times too! These people are priceless to me now. Some are family and a few are friends – their love and support will never be forgotten. More importantly I want to share their wisdom and our experience with you in case this may be the season you are in.
Family & Friends- They say you are the company you keep – well I believe your marriage reflects the same. When your marriage is in a rough spot do your friends and family encourage you to keep going and work it out? Your marriage needs quality people who are trustworthy and will encourage you both through the hard times. Just as important they will hold you accountable to your words and actions towards yourself and your spouse. When Jason and I hit a rough patch we let a small group of individuals know our issues and asked for their guidance. They were people we respected, trusted, and knew they saw the importance of working it out. They encouraged us, offered support, and demanded that we didn’t give up. I can’t speak for all marriages but if you are facing a difficult time do not surround yourself with people who doubt your marriage or encourage you to “misbehave”, surround yourself with people who will fight with you to protect your marriage.
PodCasts/Websites – With technology at our fingertips there are so many great online marriage resources blogs and apps available! Some of our favorite include: Marriage 365, Focus on the Family, Fierce Marriage, and Unveiled Wife. These online resources offer books, expert interviews, suggestions, and a variety of articles that can pertain to your specific challenge and encourage you through.
Counseling – Sometimes the challenge is too hard or the words do not seem to flow from our mouth. Seeking help from a professional counselor is nothing to be ashamed of. In fact it is one of the best things you can do for you, your spouse, and your entire family. I shared that Jason and I were two people who became silent in challenging moments. We held all our thoughts and anger in. Well we went to counseling to work on our communication. It was hard but it worked. It was the counselors idea to set weekly meetings for us to discuss certain difficult topics. Sometimes a spouse refuses to go to counseling but do not give up. Start with yourself even if you have to go alone your spouse and marriage will benefit from you being your best self.
Some of the most helpful advice that was given to me was that just like life, every marriage goes through a season. You may be in a difficult spot but more than likely it is just a season and this too shall pass.